I love this idea!! As someone who hates leaving her apartment, has a vivid imagination, and isn’t that attached to reality, I think your irrealis is a fantastic, beautiful illustrated concept.
Likewise. One trip was not enough, although I was damn lucky to be there in peak cherry blossom season. Was so beautiful. I think that was in part why it lived up to the dream for me.
There’s a chilling scene in “Oppenheimer” when they’re deliberating on which cities in Japan to drop the bomb on. A military guy says they crossed Kyoto off the list because it’s special to the Japanese people. Also, “My wife and I honeymooned there.” 😱 Glad it was spared. It is full of treasures.
Oh my, this is utterly fascinating! As I read, I thought of palimpsest and cubism - both of which are thick on the ground in Paris. The old medieval wall peeks from behind a Haussmannian apartment building. A Roman forum was excavated and now on display in the lowest sub-basement of the Louvre. And the cubists! Weren’t they after representing multiple viewpoints on a single canvas?
What I’m getting at is - the wonder of Paris is that every aspect of it, imaginary, irreal, and real, will live and shimmer as layers in your body and memory. Go to Paris! Not once but many times! It’s a big enough place that it can hold everything you bring to it -- and so are you.
For your first visit, please do yourself a favor and go by train. You want to arrive in the thick of it. Once you rent a car and drive out the outskirts, the curtain is flung open on the magic and the reality of slums and factories crowds in. I still think of that. And, yes, it colors how I see, remember and experience the historic core. As it should, I suppose - because real people live and work and play there, too.
What a lovely, eloquent comment. Thanks, Julie. I think you’ve captured something very true here - the layers in body and memory. I really do need to visit to get my relationship with Paris started!
MmmMmm. “All I have now is the opening shot.” That line resonates. For how many things has the idea held back the fruition? How many irreales (pl?), not just of geographical places, but of pursuits, desires, goals have I held onto?
Thanks, Holly! It is such a fascinating concept. In the essays, Aciman explores it in relation to places but also to people and relationships. Such a fascinating lens through which look back on your life and decisions not taken. Think we’re all guilty of it to some extent
Enjoyed the read. I dream of travel to many places which inspire this feeling, that I don't want to go just yet, if ever, and disturb my dreams of the adventure. Greece, Italy, Morocco...
I have been to Paris a couple of times. I won't impose my impressions on your vision.
i'm sorry but i don't fully agree with you. i do agree with you when you're talking about your dreams and your fears. i don't agree with you when you're saying a roll of film. really?! you're that good? go prepared with lots of them and have a digital camera as a back-up plan. whenever you're going, enjoy!
Haha perhaps this was where my extended metaphor ran out of steam. What I meant was our experience of a place is more akin to a movie, lots of snapshots that change over time, rather than a static frame
Love this idea. If our experince of a place is a whole reel, I'm finding that I'm taking more and more of my "shots" after I have left. It's odd.... how the experience marinates in my head seems to have quite a profound impact on my understanding of that place.
Aug 30, 2023·edited Aug 30, 2023Liked by M. E. Rothwell
These sentiments capture much of what I encountered backpacking the Appalachian Trail. We imbue the before, during, and after elements of our travels in very different ways and come to find there is a bittersweet aspect to the visitation of a place. On the one hand, the things we imagined an experience would be, turn out not to be, and we can be disappointed, and yet, as thrilling as it is to construct our pre-image shadows of places as you put it, I would still contend that pure imagination alone can never fathom the truth and beauty of a place, especially one like Paris. Wonderful writing. Thank you!
Thank you for introducing me to this concept. I've dreamed of many places and experiences, but am reluctant to ruin them with reality, which is always so unpredictable and infused with other people's actions and input. Now i have a term to describe my imaginings. Irrealis. It even sounds cool.
A lot of what I read on the internet comes from people who have a sense of doom about the world and the earth in particular. I'm wondering if irrealis has something to do with their perception of what the world and earth should be and what they discover is really is. The raw reality of everything is scary and way off kilter compared to what most people see in photos and art. There's a disconnect that warps their view. What do you think about this?
I think you’re absolutely right, though I’ve never thought about it this way before. A lot of cynicism and nihilism comes from the World Irrealis that we imagine as kids, and when that’s shattered in early adulthood it can lead people into despair.
I guess that's why is wise to expose kids appropriately to hardships that will teach them that life is not Barbie or Disney. There are chores to do and dirty jobs that keep civilization going. And sometimes Nature isn't so pretty all the time.
I've been to a few places and I tried many, many times to describe them, always ending in the realization that experiences are not transferable. The morning in Paris, when the sun is getting up - for example - is the street cleaners hosing down the whole city. You experience it a few times and you will never forget it. As I am writing this, it is a vivid memory. I can smell it!
I also believe, that to understand place, you have to spend some time in it. I would not expect to understand Rome without spending at least a month in it.
You cannot imagine the Himalayas, not matter how many movies you have seen about them.
I keep telling everybody to watch White Tiger if they want to understand India, while I also understand that I can only say that because I experienced India.
This is a good article, I just don't buy the premise.
Surely you are confirming my fear here - that my imagined Paris is necessarily different to the real thing. My Paris Irrealis is a fiction, a fantasy, something completely detached from the reality of Paris. And the only way to realise this is to visit and have the fantasy shatter
I love this idea!! As someone who hates leaving her apartment, has a vivid imagination, and isn’t that attached to reality, I think your irrealis is a fantastic, beautiful illustrated concept.
Thank you! Though credit for the idea must go to André Aciman. He’s a wonderful essayist
Lovely. I had the exact same with Japan. Put it off for years for fear it wouldn't be what I wanted it to be, how my mind had formed it.
But then I went and it exceeded everything, Kyoto in particular. It was as though I were walking a waking dream.
Kyoto is a dreamland. I need to go back, was far too short a visit
Likewise. One trip was not enough, although I was damn lucky to be there in peak cherry blossom season. Was so beautiful. I think that was in part why it lived up to the dream for me.
I was in Japan for the Rugby World Cup so was autumn. Feel like a visit to Japan doesn’t count if you don’t see the Sakura
There’s a chilling scene in “Oppenheimer” when they’re deliberating on which cities in Japan to drop the bomb on. A military guy says they crossed Kyoto off the list because it’s special to the Japanese people. Also, “My wife and I honeymooned there.” 😱 Glad it was spared. It is full of treasures.
Such a good movie, have seen it twice already
It didn’t feel like three hours at all.
I remember hearing those details. Unbelievable/horrifying.
Still haven't seen the film! Need to get around to that.
But yeah, the city is endless treasures, like it's trapped within various moments of time.
It’s soo good! And needs a cinema to do it justice!
You shouldn’t be afraid: you’ll see the Paris of your mind anyway :)
That is so heartening to hear
Oh my, this is utterly fascinating! As I read, I thought of palimpsest and cubism - both of which are thick on the ground in Paris. The old medieval wall peeks from behind a Haussmannian apartment building. A Roman forum was excavated and now on display in the lowest sub-basement of the Louvre. And the cubists! Weren’t they after representing multiple viewpoints on a single canvas?
What I’m getting at is - the wonder of Paris is that every aspect of it, imaginary, irreal, and real, will live and shimmer as layers in your body and memory. Go to Paris! Not once but many times! It’s a big enough place that it can hold everything you bring to it -- and so are you.
For your first visit, please do yourself a favor and go by train. You want to arrive in the thick of it. Once you rent a car and drive out the outskirts, the curtain is flung open on the magic and the reality of slums and factories crowds in. I still think of that. And, yes, it colors how I see, remember and experience the historic core. As it should, I suppose - because real people live and work and play there, too.
What a lovely, eloquent comment. Thanks, Julie. I think you’ve captured something very true here - the layers in body and memory. I really do need to visit to get my relationship with Paris started!
The sooner the better. Maybe start small?
MmmMmm. “All I have now is the opening shot.” That line resonates. For how many things has the idea held back the fruition? How many irreales (pl?), not just of geographical places, but of pursuits, desires, goals have I held onto?
Thank you for sharing this beautiful piece.
Thanks, Holly! It is such a fascinating concept. In the essays, Aciman explores it in relation to places but also to people and relationships. Such a fascinating lens through which look back on your life and decisions not taken. Think we’re all guilty of it to some extent
Enjoyed the read. I dream of travel to many places which inspire this feeling, that I don't want to go just yet, if ever, and disturb my dreams of the adventure. Greece, Italy, Morocco...
I have been to Paris a couple of times. I won't impose my impressions on your vision.
Italy is even better than you imagine, I promise
Thanks for that. Italy makes me nervous because I am an HSP and loud voices etc make me very tense.
i'm sorry but i don't fully agree with you. i do agree with you when you're talking about your dreams and your fears. i don't agree with you when you're saying a roll of film. really?! you're that good? go prepared with lots of them and have a digital camera as a back-up plan. whenever you're going, enjoy!
Haha perhaps this was where my extended metaphor ran out of steam. What I meant was our experience of a place is more akin to a movie, lots of snapshots that change over time, rather than a static frame
Aciman's words had an impact on me: Experiencing a place is more than just visiting, it's a tapestry of memories, each one unique
He’s such a great essayist and novelist. Such a deeper thinker
Love this!! And like so many I adore A Sunday on La Grande Jatte is my favorite...it makes me think of the great Stephen Sondheim ❤️
Such a beautiful painting isn’t it? Seurat is one of my absolute faves
Love this idea. If our experince of a place is a whole reel, I'm finding that I'm taking more and more of my "shots" after I have left. It's odd.... how the experience marinates in my head seems to have quite a profound impact on my understanding of that place.
These sentiments capture much of what I encountered backpacking the Appalachian Trail. We imbue the before, during, and after elements of our travels in very different ways and come to find there is a bittersweet aspect to the visitation of a place. On the one hand, the things we imagined an experience would be, turn out not to be, and we can be disappointed, and yet, as thrilling as it is to construct our pre-image shadows of places as you put it, I would still contend that pure imagination alone can never fathom the truth and beauty of a place, especially one like Paris. Wonderful writing. Thank you!
Thanks for sharing, Justin. Has been so heartening to see this feeling is shared by so many! Such an interesting topic to think about
Thank you for introducing me to this concept. I've dreamed of many places and experiences, but am reluctant to ruin them with reality, which is always so unpredictable and infused with other people's actions and input. Now i have a term to describe my imaginings. Irrealis. It even sounds cool.
It’s been so interesting to hear how common this feeling is among readers! Think it can apply to so many of the things we think about
A lot of what I read on the internet comes from people who have a sense of doom about the world and the earth in particular. I'm wondering if irrealis has something to do with their perception of what the world and earth should be and what they discover is really is. The raw reality of everything is scary and way off kilter compared to what most people see in photos and art. There's a disconnect that warps their view. What do you think about this?
I think you’re absolutely right, though I’ve never thought about it this way before. A lot of cynicism and nihilism comes from the World Irrealis that we imagine as kids, and when that’s shattered in early adulthood it can lead people into despair.
I guess that's why is wise to expose kids appropriately to hardships that will teach them that life is not Barbie or Disney. There are chores to do and dirty jobs that keep civilization going. And sometimes Nature isn't so pretty all the time.
I have to tell you -- I think you would be in heaven in the National Archives in Paris.
I’d never thought about the words ‘archive’ and ‘Paris’ going together, but now you mention it I think you’re right!
NO. You cannot.
I've been to a few places and I tried many, many times to describe them, always ending in the realization that experiences are not transferable. The morning in Paris, when the sun is getting up - for example - is the street cleaners hosing down the whole city. You experience it a few times and you will never forget it. As I am writing this, it is a vivid memory. I can smell it!
I also believe, that to understand place, you have to spend some time in it. I would not expect to understand Rome without spending at least a month in it.
You cannot imagine the Himalayas, not matter how many movies you have seen about them.
I keep telling everybody to watch White Tiger if they want to understand India, while I also understand that I can only say that because I experienced India.
This is a good article, I just don't buy the premise.
Surely you are confirming my fear here - that my imagined Paris is necessarily different to the real thing. My Paris Irrealis is a fiction, a fantasy, something completely detached from the reality of Paris. And the only way to realise this is to visit and have the fantasy shatter
Paris is definitely worth a few visits. You’ll do it one day I’m sure.
I have a similar experience with Paris. I would love to live there for ten years, but only in my mind!